So many people are walking around mad. Or self-righteous. Or both.
Most of the time they are looking outside of themselves, at someone else, or a situation and feeling completely justified and, well, superior. They have thoughts like, “If only those people would _________, I would be happy.” or maybe, “That person makes me so mad, they should__________!”
This is the definition of being judgmental.
And if this is you, one day you will figure out that it is only hurting or bothering you. It is only holding you back.
Jim Self has a marvelous article just out on judgment. It is reprinted with permission, below.
Getting Out of the Judgment Game
By Jim Self
You’ve been on this path of knowledge for a very long time. You’ve studied the best self-help books, taken the workshops and followed all the inspirational teachers. You’ve learned that you are in complete management of how you design your life.
Then why do you continue to find yourself judging others? (Yes, that teeny-tiny voice is still there whispering.) So why does that continue to come up in your life when you thought you had gotten beyond all that? Because YOU have been judged.
There is a very interesting line right in the middle of the Lord’s Prayer. It says, “Forgive us for our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” It doesn’t say, “Go fix that guy over there and when he is perfect and kind and considerate then I’ll consider forgiving him.” What this really means is: “I’ve bought somebody’s baggage and I’m carrying it around. Now I’m deciding and choosing to believe that they’re okay. As mean and horrible as they may be acting right now, they’re really okay. They’re simply in a lot of pain.”
You see, there are no bad people-only a lot of people in pain. Sometimes that pain demonstrates itself very loudly. Sometimes that pain is thrown at you as judgments. Did you ever try to work when you had a toothache? It’s not very comfortable. Have you ever had a splinter in your finger and tried to type? Not easy. People have massive pain because they have been lied to, and lied to, and lied to. They’re simply demonstrating what they know best.
Have you ever seen someone walking around in anger, pain and victim-energy? They’ve been lied to. Their in-dwelling light has been dimmed and they are simply demonstrating what they believe as truth.
Have you ever had the experience of holding a grudge? For example, let’s say I kick you and walk away. You think to yourself, “What a jerk that guy was. He didn’t even say I’m sorry.” You’re really upset about it and you tell all your friends.
A year later I come into town and I say, “Hey, nice to see you again.” What’s the first thing that comes into your mind? “You jerk.” But then what happens is I say, “You look like you’re angry at me.” “I am! You kicked me and you’re such a jerk and…”
“Wow, I didn’t know that. Thinking back I realize that when I got up I thought I stepped on the chair or something. I’m really sorry. If I would have known, I would have absolutely apologized.” At that minute, do you still hold that grudge? Not really. But throughout that entire year who was stuck-you or me?
You sat for a year in that grumbling and judgment. Mostly you chose to stay in that judgment energy because you didn’t get what you really passionately wanted from me. You wanted a “Hello.” Hello. I see you! That’s what you’ve wanted all of your life. You just wanted somebody to say, “Hello! I see your brightness.” Pretty simple.
In kindergarten did you show someone your elephant drawing that had orange all over it and the color was outside the lines? Perhaps the response was, “That’s not an elephant. It’s a scribbly mess. Don’t you know elephants are gray and they stay within the lines? And don’t ever draw like that again.” If that happens to you, will you ever draw another elephant? Not likely.
So, do you carry a little bit of judgment in your space about who you are and what you are capable of? (A lot.) That invalidation comes from people who are in pain. They aren’t bad-they’re just in pain.
Does looking at that past experience from a new perspective change it a bit? You got rid of the judgments of right/wrong and good/bad. There go the judgments. All that’s left is experiences- amusing, interesting experiences.
You can make a different choice now. You can choose compassion. Would you like to begin to let some of that pain go so that you don’t have to carry judgment around anymore?
When you choose to view life experiences from a higher perspective, you find that higher, older, wiser, broader part of you. Your Higher Self sits there and it says to you, “I want to add to All-That-Is. I want to experience more.”
You see, when you came in to this body, you said, “I’m a big, capable spirit. I remember who I am. I’m going to make a difference. I’m going to break up the current pain-game. I’m going to break up the judgments that were added to the judgments that were added to the lies that were added to the pain that was added to the punishment that was added to more judgment.”
You said, “When I come into this body I’m coming in with the goal to bring Heaven to Earth.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR JIM SELF is an international teacher, speaker and author. He has been a leader in the field of spiritual development for over 27 years. He offers us the tools of Mastering Alchemy as a Way of Life.